Wednesday, June 30, 2004


I've had a dry spot lately in my blogging. Every time I sit down to write, anything worth writing evades eloquence. However, I find that once you sit down and start writing, something usually ends up spilling over. You can be the judge of its worth.

This summer has been a strange one, in many ways. I sit here in my room in Hamilton, looking up at trees and sky, surrounded by other townhouses and more people than I've ever lived around. I never imagined myself doing my job, greenhouse work, or the trials and good times that have resulted from that job. If I had tried to look ahead a year ago to now, I would have been quite surprised. I've lived in 3 different homes this past year, changed my school goals twice, lived with 9 different people over the past 10 months, met a multitude of new friends, ended a dating relationship, and discovered some "kindred spirits" that had been in front of me for awhile before I noticed.

I entered the summer looking for some relaxing, more stable times, and found that God didn't exactly have that in mind for me. Although I've had more free time this summer, I've been continually amazed at all the things that have happened in the past 2 months. And as much as I've been stretched, I really feel that I'm not going to break and its only led to positive growth in my life. Thats such a super feeling.

Another super feeling is that I don't have to work for 4 more days!!! Tomorrow I'm heading off to Hamy's birthday party/Canada Day celebrations, and the rest of the weekend is semi up in the air like usual. Last night I was at the VanderKlippes, and had a great time. Good friends, food, a campfire, lots of laughs, mosquitoes and peace. The moon was almost full, I was content. On the drive home, there was comfortable silence and conversation between me and Kev, and Michelle slept in the back. One of those nights that made me realize how blessed I am.

So whats with heritage Dutch pride? I'm half dutch but I don't really have much pride in that. In fact, I would much rather trade it in. *heresy* :O I'm also half Scottish, which I quite enjoy. I find that history and culture so much more intriguing and interesting. Wooden shoes, lots of cheese, cheapness, tulips, etc...I dunno, doesn't do it for me. But I've been lambasted by many lately for not grabbing onto what I have been given in my heritage. I doubt I'll change my mind though, I've always thought this way ever since I was a kid. So today at work, I didn't wear orange, or wave a flag, but TOMORROW, I'll gladly wear red and white and show who I truly am. I'm not Dutch. I'm Canadian. But if you wanna know where I came from, its Scottish - with an unfortunate amount of Dutch thrown in.

If you know me at all, you know that I am in love with music. With the way it moves me, carries me above the mundane, and yet is with me in the mundane. With the notes, and rythms and harmonies, and the lyrics that may or may not accompany it. I love to listen, to sing, to play and to dance. When people tell me that they don't listen to music much, I usually go into shock. Music is in my soul, and one day I hope in the new heavens and earth I'll have the ability to listen to music in the air. So I can run across fields and hear music thats beyond my wildest dreams. Without a walkman, or a stereo. If you're one of those unfortunate souls that doesn't have the love of music, listen. If you listen to life closely enough, you'll realize that what you're hearing is Music and that music is only a reflection of life. Love life, and you'll love music.

Well thats a small post on some of the recent thoughts of my mind, and I hope you enjoyed it.


Nathan said...

I don't know where people get this cheapness stereotype regarding the Dutch from. In my experience as a tour guide the Dutch have been the most generous tippers. There must be a catagoric cheapness or something. I dunno.

Felix said...

crazy dutch... i'm with ya on the music thing. i always love imagining what the music will be like in heaven, and what a heavenly chorus will sound like :) i can't wait. it will definitely be "beyond our wildest dreams"