Thursday, June 16, 2005

Beckoning for mercy...

Have you ever been in the place where God strips away stuff out of your life, and you have nothing left to turn to but Him?

Moving is hard on me, I've decided. My house doesn't feel like home yet at all, and living alone without phone or internet has been rough.

My house desperately needs a dehumidifer, as everything feels wet, especially my bed, and the dampness is contributing to some mold. Which lends everything a very nice smell.

Then within the first week of me living in my new neighbourhood, my car has been broken into and my stereo and 12 CD's stolen.

Add to that an unreliable car, a distinct lack of faith, and a new realization of my selfishness - and I'm not exactly in a good place. But maybe it is a better one than before, because I've seen how I rely on so many things besides God.

And though I am not really feeling close to God at all, I'm trying again. He really doesn't owe me anything, I mean, I haven't even tried to love Him as he deserves, let alone spend time with him.

This morning as I puttered around my apartment, this song played. And it somehow resonated with my soul.

Shaking like a leaf
Afraid to lift my eyes
Afraid of all Your glory
Ashamed of all my pride

Then You call me in
To Your holy place
I fall down
Down on my face

And I beckon You for mercy
And I beckon You to forgive everything that I've ever done
And I tremble
And I tremble

I am just a (wo)man
Showered in Your grace
You are the Holy God
Your Glory fills this place

And I beckon You for mercy
And I beckon You to forgive everything I've ever done
And I tremble

I tremble...

~AA

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

mebbe you're being blessed with God slowly waking you up...

Laurs said...

Awk, Sarah.. keep your chin up !!!
It doesn't sound like the nicest of times you're going through, God's refining you - it's not an easy process, but think of what you'll be, WHO you'll be in Christ when He's done with you *for the time being* :)
I love you and I can't wait till next Tues!!
Hang on to Him,
Laura ox

Scatterfingers said...

Wow - that really stinks. I'll be praying for you... and praying that the stuff that dude stole burns a hole in his conscience ;)

Nathan said...

Insight does not arrive at the onset, but the outcome of trials. Patience is one thing I find I get out of my trials, and wisdom and patience make good bedfellows. I think that's why James puts rejoice in trials, and ask for wisdom together.