Saturday, June 04, 2005

The Interview

So Dan decided to skip the trivial and peer into the deep places of moi with these interview questions - the rest of you feel free to look over his shoulder.

1. How do you try to live for an audience of One -- in your workplace, your home, your blog?

I feel so inadequate to answer this question right now. My trying has diminished lately, the habits have stayed but the moment by moment living for His audience has been so apathetic. I hate that - I've been listening to "Consume Me" by DC Talk, and each time I do I'm convicted, I'm so far from being consumed by God and I long for that. However, you asked how I tried, not what I accomplished.

At work, hmm. I try to treat those who the world see as garbage as images of God and human beings who have just as much worth as someone without mental illness, or bad smells, or irritating behaviours. I also try to be honest, especially in the little things, and consistent/fair when dealing with residents who are fighting or breaking the rules. And last of all, I try to be a person who makes people feel comfortable, a person who laughs and hurts with them, a person who shows them just a little bit of Christ.

Living for the audience of One in my home has consisted lately of trying to be aware of the other person, treating them as I would like to be treated, even if I don't like the way I'm expected to act. I'm trying to not let bitter or angry feelings well up, they only do damage, and instead, turn the other cheek. I'm trying to daily keep an attitude of forgiveness.

And finally, my blog. I try to let my blog be not only an expression of me, but an expression that will encourage and uplift my readers. I want them to think, to smile, or be inspired. Recently, I've become aware of how some of my posts have not brought people closer to God, and its given me quite a sense of how words can drag others down with you.

2. How should a Christian approach his or her own depression? How about a non-suffering fellow believer? The Christian community as a whole?

Right then. Are you asking for an essay here Dan?, because you've hit on something I'm still figuring out, and working through a lot in my head.

In general, it scares me when depression is looked upon solely as punishment for sin. I find that to be a very ignorant response. Our physical bodies exhibit symptoms of being unwell, and so our minds will as well. That can range from wrong attitudes to a mental illness that debilitates the person. Just because you have depression, or perhaps, are just "down" more than the rest of the world, does not make you a worse or more sinful Christian. It's just another way sin has affected and permeated us.

That being said, I think depression is spiritual. More perhaps for some, but personally, it plays a big role. And because it can often be a spiritual battle, it must be approached, not only as mental problem, but as an issue that can pull us away from God. Depression often brings apathy - towards living as you should, and in your desire for God. Because it does so, it's imperative that we don't just let depression take us wherever it will.

What would be most beneficial is if the non-suffering fellow believer/general Christian community was educated on what depression is. If most people knew that some of the greatest theologians and God-followers of the past and present were not joy filled energizer bunnies, I think the "Christian Ideal" would be quite different. It's as if you're not quite there yet, if you're not filled with that perpetual cheeriness. This is unfair, and unbiblical. I would put out that the person who hasn't walked the roads of pain and emptiness does not really know some of the deeper aspects of the joy of the Lord. So, learn about depression, pray for healing, and learn to help. This is not done by minimizing the issue; instead, don't let us wallow, but don't force us to put up a mask either.

3. What kind of work excites you? What do you most want to do, and how do you plan to get there?

It excites me to help people, to interact with them, to see change come about and have a finger in that. I love the feeling of doing paperwork, ever since I was 9 and played "bank" I've loved sorting, filing, and filling out forms. I know, I'm a nerd. I love what I'm doing right now. It's informal and flexible, yet requires a great deal of stability. However, I know this is not what I'm meant to do forever.

I most want to be a fulltime mother. I used to be a bit hesitant to say that, and sometimes I still feel like I'm aiming too low, but when I see clearly, I know that I'm going for the highest calling. I want to be the person who gets to interact and love them from sunup to sundown. I want to be able to have the time to volunteer, to become a great cook, to leave a Christlike imprint on the children I hope that God gives me. I'm so excited by that possibility. I have a feeling I'll have to use all the education, lessons, and experience I possess to even come close to being the kind of mother I want to be.

I plan to get there (hopefully) by a. marrying Kev and b. having sex with him. To put it rather bluntly.

4. What music triggers your deepest intensity? Dancing or crying, screaming or laughing -- what sets you off?

Music that I can feel in my soul. It could be the way the harmonies resound within me, or the line of lyric that I have written a thousand times inside. It's the moment, be it the moment of deepest praise where I could explode from the thought of being the child of the infinite Jehovah at the peak of the song, or the almost silent chords of a piano that I can just feel. It's music I understand inside, and it could matter less what genre it came from. It's hard to define, that explosion of life, which usually can only be expressed by feeling it. It almost brings me to tears, but I can't cry because I'm too at peace. I hope that one day God shows me how to fully be in that moment, but for me now it's a taste of the supernatural - my spirit crying out, and sighing in happiness at the same time.

5. If you had to choose between being blind and being deaf, which would you choose? Why?

I would choose to be blind. If I was blind I could still hear life, and my ears would become my eyes. I would feel, instead of seeing - and the sights I would miss, I would remember and would be able to see with my mind. And.. I could still listen to music, the tones of voices I love, whispers in the dark.. catch that play on concepts? ;)

And don’t forget to post the rules below:

Anyone else interested? Email or leave a "Yes, please!" comment. Here's the rules.

1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me." The first five are the lucky winners.
2. I will email you with five questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (Write your own questions or borrow some.)


Nathan said...

I hope I win... please, interview me.

Anonymous said...

inementerviewp meh.


Mich said...

Interview me too!

Dan said...

Awesome answers, Sarah. I'll be blogging in response soon :)

May God richly bless you.