Something new..

I am officially making a career move. I handed in my two weeks yesterday to Homestead Christian Care and accepted the position of Team Assistant at CCAC of Halton. I am excited, apprehensive, hating to say goodbye and ready to say hello to something new. One plus of my new job, I'll be working with Candice everyday. Wait - maybe thats not a plus. ;)

I only have 4 more days of work with Homestead - and I'm starting CCAC on September 12th which means I have some days to relax at the end of this eventful summer.

Who knows where God is leading me - but somehow I'm becoming more ready to just follow His direction and trust that He knows the path.

Post #82

Good afternoon, my friends.

My favourite part of today has been sitting at my computer and feeling the cool breeze come through the window. If I don't look too close I can forget it's rainy and grey. I'm listening to BNL Lovers in a Dangerous Time - "gotta kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight" - I love that phrase.

So I've been feeling rather sick for yesterday and today. A migraine that stretches from my shoulders to all over my head, to down my face. My throat is a little sore, and I feel kinda weak. Miss Van Hartingsveldt has strep throat and I'm very much hoping that is not what I'm coming down with.

Do you realize that there is under two weeks left of summer? It seems really strange for me to think about summer being over, in the sense that my day to day affairs won't have really changed all that much. I actually really do miss not going back to school. I'm tempted some days to go back to Redeemer, although not so much for the studies as the atmosphere, memories, etc. I have to say, my first year at RUC was top-knotch. I still wish some days I had my Dorm 29 back - it was one of the best years of my life. I feel like all of a sudden I've had to grow up, that I cheated myself out of a complete experience, and yet if I look at the reasons why I left, and the way I knew it wasn't what I was meant to do, they still hold true. I still don't really feel like I've found what I'm supposed to do, however. Maybe my search will only end at heaven's door.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Work

So I've been really frustrated with my job in the past month. It's too much stress for not enough benefit, and I'll leave it at that.

My beautiful sister Anne at the beach. I love summer. 

Harm Reduction or Harm Condoning?

In social work/health fields there is this concept called "harm reduction". It's basic tenets are that problems are in our world, and we can't completely get rid of them so instead of preaching abstinence or working to stop the problem completely they try to reduce the harm those problems have on people and societies. A direct quote from the Harm Reduction Coalition, which focuses on drug use, is as follows:

"Accepts, for better and for worse, that licit and illicit drug use is part of our world and chooses to work to minimize its harmful effects rather than simply ignore or condemn them."

I'm not sure where I stand on this, as of yet, but I have some serious holdups, like, for example, aren't you in some way condoning the sin when you give out clean needles for drug use, or condoms for extramarital sex? Isn't it a bad sort of communication when you hand out a needle for a "more safe" hit while informing them of the repercussions of drug use?

Discussion, please.

Y'know one thing I really appreciate and respect about Kev? His ability to listen without his own preconceived ideas. He listens way more objectively than most people and if I make a good point, he concedes to that instead of always defending. I wish I could do that better.

Speaking of Kev, he surprised me last night by showing up at my doorstep and whisking me off to Crabby Joes for drinks and a good talk. I love that man.

I'm taking tomorrow off of work to head back to the ol' hometown for a funeral. A lady I worked with for 4 years, and became quite close to during that time - her husband died suddenly. A week before he died they found out he had cancer, and a week later he was gone. I can't imagine what she is going through right now, my heart hurts for her, her son and daughters, the community that he was once a mayor for. Death is so sudden. Birth is a known thing, you have 9 months to wait for the life you know is in you to come into your arms. Death of those around me is one of my greatest fears. I don't deal well with tragic change, most people don't. But the thought of losing my little brothers/sisters or one of my parents, or one of my friends, or the worst, Kev - makes me feel like life has just been emptied of it's fullness, it's joy, it's purpose. I know that that isn't so, but those feelings are the ones that grip me inside.

Enough of that. Whenever I get too morose, I remember that I'm living right now. If I spend my life dreading death - I will never truly live.

It's a beautiful scorcher folks. I'm having a fantastic day.

Recap..

So I'm exhausted. Not just tired, more like I feel like I pulled an allnighter. It's not fun, because I keep zoning out and thinking I'm in my bed when really I'm in the office at work. Enough of that, though.

I had a great weekend. A little different than usual, which was nice. Friday - went to Koop's 19th out in St. Kitt's, where the party was shut down before it started by the cops, and where Kev became a DJ. Saturday - also a great day. Well, not all, but most. I woke up at 10 and rushed around doing such unimportant things as arranging rent money and walking around with a large sum of cash. I had a dentist appointment to fill a cavity, (I know, who has cavities at this age..!) it was actually a cavity around a previous filling... anyways, it hurt and my mouth was numb for 5 hours. I couldn't eat, or drink. I tried, but I got confused about which was the peanuts, and my tongue, and swallowing was non-existent. It was a hungry day.

Me and Mary went shopping - a very successful trip. A dress for upcoming weddings, a feat, considing that all of the dresses we looked were either hideously orange and poofy, or skanky. I also bought an article of clothing for a future time of life.. *Mary's probably giggling at this point* Actually, Mary giggled a lot that trip. So did I. Saturday night was another party, this time at a coworker of Kev's. It involved swimming, being thrown back in to swim, drying off, being thrown back in again, eating, watching of Fantastic Four, some beer, and lots of people I didn't know. Good times.

Sunday was really refreshing, both sermons, at different churches were powerful and helpful. One thing that is always impressed on me after going to Trinity Baptist is the need for a love of the Word of God. It's so vital, and Pastor Muller is great at communicating how we need to be in the Word, living it, and loving to be in it and living it. At night, in a sermon of an eschatological theme, which I need to study.. I realized that we won't always have the freedom to read Gods Word. I had this vision of later years where it wasn't available freely, and me regretting deeply all the time I had spent putting devotions off, or not truly meditating on it. Honestly, think about it..

So yes, that was my weekend. Today, Civic Holiday, which should be named "We want a Holiday so lets name it Civic Holiday so that the government will go for it" Holiday, I'm working. Then, I'm going to hang out with my Kev and the DX-Master. I feel like some wings, maybe a movie, and some sort of cool beverage. After all that recall.. I'm feeling happy and less tired.

Hope you're all enjoying the weekend. (and hey Felix.. whats with not getting back to me..!!)