Tuesday, February 21, 2006

So what you been doin' lately?

It's been awhile since I've actually written on this blog of mine. Not for lack of inspiration - or emotion, or thought though. It's been the biggest whirlwind of my life, and yet I've written almost nothing. I'm not sure if I regret that - in a way I do, but in another way, there was too much to write to write it.

I'm married now - I'm a Van Hartingsveldt now - I'm a veteran of weddings now - I've made love now (was that out loud?) - I've disappointed and surprised myself with what I've become. I'm the same person now - I'm completely different now - I'm still learning about what lifes about now - I'm still learning to lean on God.

My life is different practically - in small ways and big, my sphere of responsibility has shifted to my husband, my home, through them serving God. I've become a member of Trinity Baptist Church which has given me a bit of a home base. I still don't feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be some days. Not like, "why am I with Kev?" but more like, "how did I get here so fast?"

I've discovered that I deal with change by instituting more change. You can decide if thats smart, or not..

Last night, I got together with the girls - Baileys and Bible Study we sometimes call it. That, or marriage counseling. Theres nothing like sitting around on comfy chairs, drinking tea or Baileys (some of us double fist *coughCandicecough*) - meditating on Scripture and laughing about our mundane and crazy lives.

Then after that, Kev came home. He came home! to me! I love not saying "goodbye" at night.

Ever have it where you realize that the songs you grew up listening to, have stuck deep inside and bring back so many memories of a certain time of your life? I'm listening to Paula Cole "I Don't Want to Wait". I can remember running down a country road - sitting at the side of the road in my "spot", and contemplating life while listening to this... I really had no idea where I'd be. I still don't. It's like life just keeps coming, and at the end I'll write a book and say "this is where I've been." Maybe thats why lifes called a journey. And why so many songs have been written about bends in the road. And why so many people fake confidence when they think about the next year. Without God - the road is filled with companions, but as blind as you.

Oh and Mary, if you're reading this... I miss you.

I promise this won't be the post of the month or anything, guys.. I'm going to try to get back into this.


Anonymous said...

I think there are some things that are private and should not be posted online for the world to see. Also there are some things the rest of us just don't want to think about.
Thank-you very much

Anonymous said...

Hm... to which I say.. you chose to read it. So....

Jo (and I even left me name!)

Jodi said...

There is something beautiful about a couple who have waited for eachother and can say they've "made love" as opposed to "did it". Sex is a beautiful thing that God created but it has been so destroyed by our world, and I like knowing that there are people out there who still hold it for the sacred act it is, and aren't ashamed to say it!!
I'm proud of you Sarah. You write wonderfully.

Love Jodi

Anonymous said...

Yeah so to all the prudes out there that can't handle the fact that married people have sex... get a grip.


SoccerChic said...

Oh, I was reading this post and thinking - man I miss Sarah so much - it's been for ever since we had a really good girl talk.

I miss you too Sar - glad to hear things are going well!

Anonymous said...

"I've made love now (was that out loud?)"

that, in its entirety, is what offended you, Mr./Mrs. Anonymous? i read these comments over my wife's shoulder before i read the blog, and i was worried she'd stepped out of line. i find your offense to be quite unjustified. a four-word informative does not justify a comment that reacts to a three-paragraph detailed descriptive.

like jo said, no one made you read this. also like jo pointed out, hiding behind your annonymity is cowardice, at best.

lastly, have you ever read Song of Solomon? i find it upsetting that Christians have handed the glory of sex over to a world that undermines it - we should be enjoying it for what it is and be only too happy to share our excitement with those around us.

Kevin (who has also had SEX)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like someone is a little defensive...yikes. CALM DOWN!

p.s. some people don't like to post their name all over the internet. Thank-you very much

Anonymous said...

Good Points Kev, I guess it is alright to write, I am not against it. I agree that it is a beautiful thing(as is Song of Solomon). AND I did choose to read it myself. I shouln't have said that, sorry.

A Friend

Anonymous said...

Yay! Cheers to us for standing up for ourselves in the face of anonymous prudity. :)

Jo (Who hasn't, just for the record... 19 months to go [sigh])

lstew said...

woooooooooooo sex!

Eric said...

Hello Kevin and Sarah, I hope you guys are enjoying your new life together. By the sounds of things it seems like things are going well. About your blog i agree with anonymous #1. There is a saying what happens in the bed room stays in the bedroom. I know you didn't go into detail.(and we all thank you for that) I think you wanted to turn heads because you said " DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD". I don't want to stir the pot but as Christians BE the example and watch what you say and don't get affended right away when some one corrects you.
Also Kevin, when you know someone is affended when you talk about that issue. Why would you say at the end of your email
KEVIN (WHO ALSO HAD SEX). We know you have because Sarah told us (unless there is another story? or someone else?)So lets be adults about it. Thanxs Eric