I auditioned for a part in the Alumni Choir singing in their Spring Concert. The audition itself was a bit of a freak show, with me trying to sing along to a choir singing German, reading a piece while singing it for the first time. Needless to say, I summarized it by saying, "that was a bit sketchy". However, everyone else had a rough audition as well, so I held on to hope that it would do and that Dr. T would remember my previous years in choir.
... It wasn't to be.
I was, and am disappointed. It felt like a bit of a slap in the face, because my voice is something I always count on. I know I'm not Grammy material, but still. People compliment me on my voice, I'm the lead vocalist of Living Worship, and... I realized I was and am proud.
I pay far too much attention to my own voice. I listen to others too little. I like the way I sound, and I forget the Giver and the reason I sing.
Lord, forgive me.
I still want to sing in choir. I miss it terribly. But for now, I'll rest in the fact that God needed me to be taught a lesson more than He needed me to sing His praises. Maybe the fact that I'm realizing all this is more praise than my half hearted attempts to sing past admiring my own nose (or voice in this case..)