Wednesday, January 24, 2007

humility

I auditioned for a part in the Alumni Choir singing in their Spring Concert. The audition itself was a bit of a freak show, with me trying to sing along to a choir singing German, reading a piece while singing it for the first time. Needless to say, I summarized it by saying, "that was a bit sketchy". However, everyone else had a rough audition as well, so I held on to hope that it would do and that Dr. T would remember my previous years in choir.

... It wasn't to be.

I was, and am disappointed. It felt like a bit of a slap in the face, because my voice is something I always count on. I know I'm not Grammy material, but still. People compliment me on my voice, I'm the lead vocalist of Living Worship, and... I realized I was and am proud.

I pay far too much attention to my own voice. I listen to others too little. I like the way I sound, and I forget the Giver and the reason I sing.

Lord, forgive me.

I still want to sing in choir. I miss it terribly. But for now, I'll rest in the fact that God needed me to be taught a lesson more than He needed me to sing His praises. Maybe the fact that I'm realizing all this is more praise than my half hearted attempts to sing past admiring my own nose (or voice in this case..)

4 comments:

undoubtably_me said...

He's in charge, and He knows what is best for you right now. Lessons aren't easy, but so worth the pain and frustration. Use your beautiful voice (which I am jealous of, since this is the week of revealing) to praise the One who blesses you. And sing! We love you.

Felix said...

i know it's little consolation, but dr T was looking for a particular sound and not "the best singers". lots of great singers didn't make it in. the fact that you made it into choir in the first place is an indication of the wonderful singing talent you've been blessed with!

i miss singing with you sarah... i'm thinking of gathering people together to sing some old choir stuff in the squash court or something... i don't have a date in mind yet, but would you be interested?

Sarah said...

I'd definitely be interested in doing that - Beati Quorum Via is still firmly planted inside my head! Let me know!

lstew said...

you should also know that no alumni altos made it in. only 4 concert choir altos.