Wednesday, April 20, 2011

'mom-guilt'

I didn't know that becoming a mother would automatically mean that I would get "mom-guilt". What is that, you might ask? It's the constant nagging feeling that you're not doing enough, or the right things, or that you're neglecting an important part of life in all things child-rearing.

I struggle with it a lot - partially because I'm a perfectionist (I know, it's a curse) and partially because I'm very aware of just how quick time is passing. Miss one opportunity here and there - who know when you'll have another chance.

There are so many decisions, big and small, that face us. Should you vaccinate? Do you include Santa in Christmas celebrations? What type of schooling? How much sugar should they intake? Are they interacting enough with other kids and other age groups?

And then there are all the "am I doing the right things enough" questions. Am I reading to them enough? Am I explaining the gospel simply and through daily opportunities? Am I disciplining consistently? The list is seriously endless.

The frustrating part of this phenomena is that it's not the only thing that I question myself about. There are so many areas of life that I'm called to live in. How am I living as a daughter of God? A wife? A friend? A sister/daughter/grand-daughter? How am I impacting my neighbors? Am I cleaning/cooking/up-keeping well enough?

I live in a constant reality of not wanting to look back on my life with regret. I understand that I am not perfect (like, seriously), but I fear looking back with regret on the way I lived, wanting to do it over, and knowing I can't.

The only thing I can think of to ease this is to trust God. He knows I'm imperfect and he knows my limitations and He's the only one that can make anything of me. Maybe I need to grow in faith that if live my life as best as I can, in His power, that He'll make something out of it that I don't regret?

1 comment:

Scatterfingers said...

You better vaccinate. Don't screw with the herd immunity.